Thursday, September 25, 2008

a black hole

That's what it feels like my life has become, a black hole where time is just funnelling through.
There has been no time to just stop and smell the roses, but piles and piles of manure to wade through.
The kids have been sick; gastro and chest infections. I've been sick, work sucks the big one and people are getting shafted left right and centre and I can only see it getting worse as the rampant egos take over the place. I managed to take a chunk of flesh out of my arm when playing with Mecanno and didn't realise until the kids pointed out I was bleeding every where. That's because of the nerve damage to my arm which according to the specialist is mine for life. So long term adjustments have to be made, but as I've already found a spinning wheel I can use fairly easily, the major panic is over, now it is just a case of the big things like modifying the house and the car and looking at long term pain management strategies. Oh and I've been advised to where protective clothing when playing Mecanno.

But really that's not to bad considering what manure has been thrown at the people around me.
There's been a baby, and therefore a life of dreams, lost and another woman, my age, has been diagnosed with second stage breast cancer which had spread to her lymph glands but thank the flying spaghetti monster no further.
In both these circumstances it is hard to know what to say to the person. Really nothing you can say can convey you're sorry and having miscarried several times while some of the words of sympathy can be like a warm hug, not all are even if they are intended as such.
So to cope with this shit I've cried for the first and for the second I knitted a boob. A completely selfish act, an act that let me think that maybe I have done something to help. But I know there was a giggle mixed with the tears when my offer of giving her a perky set was passed on to her.

In other knitting there has been a Liesl done in Lion Brand Cotton (no, not cotton ease I used the dish cloth stuff) from spotties. It used less than 2 and a half balls of the stuff and I love it and can see several others in my future, particularly as it was a nine day knit and all knitting done after work and after the kids were in bed.
The mods were I ditched the original purl or garter ridges in the pattern after the first repeat for the neckline and knitted smooth all the way down to the end of the body where I did 1.5 of the normal repeats. The sleeves were to above the elbow and I did one repeat of the normal pattern on the ends.
Under the arms where you cast on stitches for the body and then pick these stitches up for the sleeve I cast on the same number of stitches on waste yarn and knitted off these for the body and then pulled the waste yarn out and picked up live stitches for the sleeves.

Next post there will be more knitting and I'll do the seven random things meme that I was tagged to do.
And maybe some pics of Melbourne because I'm heading down south and there has been a promise about visiting yarn shops, and pubs, and mills!


Taueret said...

hugs. You're so sweet to knit k a boob. I have just been too wild with grief and cold terror to sit down and knit.

Bells said...

You're very good to your friends Zeph, caring so much. Tears are good. I know when I couldn't cry, someone else crying for me helped.

fitknit said...

Sometimes life truly sucks. Doing something does help...even if we only believe it does.

Hope Melbourne is a wild and woolly adventure!